


Regarding Jensen

by Feathers7501



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cockles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Season 12 Episode 11 coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 23:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9686555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feathers7501/pseuds/Feathers7501
Summary: After filming the emotional mirror scene in "Regarding Dean", Jensen needs some help coping





	

The lot was noisy, it always was. Scenery going up, voices shouting people running, laughing.

Jensen didn’t notice. The trailer was quiet and he was deep in his own thoughts. 

Man, that had been hard…

Coming off set after filming the intense scene in front of the mirror, watching his expressions change, his face become that of someone else; someone even he didn’t recognise. It was overwhelming. It hadn’t been Dean’s face in that mirror – it wasn’t his own either, it was someone so lost, so lonely…

Jensen shook his head, trying to rid himself of the immense sadness that lingered after shooting that scene. They’d needed several takes – not because Jensen fucked up, but to capture each expression on his face, the growing confusion and vulnerability. As he went through each take, each angle he could feel it becoming more real somehow. By the time he reached the final “I don’t know” he was no longer acting. It took a while to come down from such intense focus, such emotional investment.

Jensen was trembling, his breath hitching as he struggled to take deep breaths.

He had been so deeply invested at the end of the filming that John had ordered him off set for the rest of the afternoon. Told him to go get a coffee, eat something and rest.

He had managed to thank him and the crew for a good morning’s work, and made his way to his trailer. Where he was still.

An hour later, he was still sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. And instead of feeling better, he was feeling worse.

To lose all your memories like that? To lose everyone that you love? To know it was going to happen, that it was happening right in front of your eyes? Jensen shuddered, his breath catching in his throat.

Staring at that face that was so familiar – and yet a stranger at the same time, it had done something to his head. Really messed with him. 

Hot tears pooling between his cold fingers were the first sign that he had been weeping silently for some time now. He didn’t move – he couldn’t.

Someone was knocking, but it didn’t really register. Jensen was too deep in his own thoughts.

What if he really did forget everyone he loved? Like Alzheimer’s set on fast forward? What if the ones he loved forgot him? Like maybe he didn’t mean enough to them that once he was no longer there he was unregarded, in no one’s thoughts or prayers.

Jensen was no longer sure if he was channelling Dean’s insecurities or his own. Between them they had bucket loads anyway – he guessed it didn’t matter at this point.

He felt the bed sink as someone sat carefully beside him. A warm hand was laid tentatively on his shoulder, warm against the chill of his skin.

“Jensen?” It was Misha. 

Jensen let a sob shudder through him, he moved his hands and tried to wipe his eyes.

“Oh, Jensen, come here.”

Large hands turned him slightly and warm arms wrapped around him pulling him close.

“I’ve got you, you’re ok.”

Jensen turned and simply accepted his friend’s warmth and comfort, winding his arms around Misha’s waist and hiding his face in his shirt.

Misha held him more closely, like he was something precious, something to be treasured, and rested his chin on Jensen’s hair.

“You did so good today, I saw the rushes, you were incredible. That scene was hard to read as a part of the script – but seeing you live it? Become it? Jensen, you were amazing”

Misha could feel the trembling man begin to still, and wrapped him further in the warmth of his arms.

“You give so much of yourself, Jensen. So much, but then you have so much to give. How can I help?” he murmured into Jensen’s hair. “What do you need?”

Jensen took a shaky breath, and simply choked out “Stay. Please.”

“Of course.”

Misha shuffled up the bed, drawing Jensen with him until he was leaning against the headboard, with Jensen again cradled in his arms, his head warm against Misha’s chest.

“Mish, I… I don’t…”

“Shh Jen, leave it. I have you”.

The two men grew quiet, familiar warmth and love enveloping them as Jensen’s breathing slowed, and he slowly relaxed.

Misha looked down at the beautiful man in his arms. 

“I’ve got you, I love you".

Jensen turned his face slightly to look Misha in the eye. “I know”.

 

Fin


End file.
